Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for a lot less pain today than the last couple days. (I'm hopeful for a workout.)
I am thankful for a little niece trying to walk even though she just started to crawl.
I am thankful for a gorgeous first day of spring.
I am thankful for all the wonderful women in my life.
I am thankful for a doctors appointment.
I am thankful for smores. I am not eating them, but I have a plan in the future. Smores are so good. I think I'll make easter smores out of peeps for my nephews.
I am thankful for talks with my best friend
I am thankful for debate tournaments always having one inspiring moment. (A girl gave a speech about caring, self esteem and being better. Her teammates came to watch and left when she finished. I glimpsed her at least two month old self harm scars when she adjusted a sleeve. Lovely moment)
I am thankful for kids allowing me the privilege of helping tthem clean and playing along with my jokes. They make a choice to trust me at work, and I am thankful every time they do.

Comments

Starting the Journey

If there is one good thing about moving, it's that when you make a move you have to make a lifestyle change. So, why not make another? I'm going to get healthy! Actually, I'm not. I've love to say the journey we're starting now leads to getting healthy, but the reality is a little different. Part of the journey you're joining me on is to find a lot of acceptance around that simple fact. I feel a bit Bilbo about this whole thing. Halfway through my journey towards healthy, I got an awesome treasure, and it came with some super cool effects. It also came with a huge downside. My treasure isn't a ring that lets me be invisible and links me up with a rather terrifying evil. My treasure is a series of diagnoses; they give me the power of treatments and mean that I can't be healthy. I've been diagnosed with migraine with aura, elevated blood pressure, menstrual migraine, patellofemoral pain syndrome, irregular menses, prementrual d...

Chronic pain

As you are aware, I'm dealing with chronic pain. It's very rare for me to have a day that I wake up with no pain. The last few days I've woken up with some very difficult migraines. I'm trying to manage my pain and returning to work. I'm not always sure that I'm managing my pain in the best way possible. I do what I can, but there is a constant struggle and I have very little hope that it will ever become easier. This week I missed a training because I didn't think about it and was staying away from screens. (My training was online.) I want to do better and be consistent, and it's hard. The Chronic Pain and Illness Workbook for Teens by Rachel Zoffness is straight forward, combines scientific reasoning with clear explanations. I really appreciate the exercises. They are easy to follow along with and comfortable for teenagers. I believe this book will be truly helpful for many people. I know it's helpful for me.

Pile of dead kids

Yesterday, I said I was thankful for my therapist. Honestly I am not sure that I am thankful. EMDR therapy is the right kind for me, it is working in an expansion of what I believe. Yet I don't want to deal with the past memories that we are going to be looking at. They suck. I am unsure if it is me holding back or maybe she really sucks. I am so triggered being back in Spokane and in this house. It feels like I am walking through memories sometimes. Today I keep thinking about a bunch of dead kids. They used to be my friends or clients I worked with, but at some point as I kept getting older and they didn't, those friends and clients became kids. Worse than that, they became dead kids just chilling in my mind. I say pile of dead kids because it is rare that only one comes up in my mind at a time. If one starts coming into my memory (even a positive memory) another one comes, Until I end up with all of these dead k...

Nerd @ 190

Search This Blog