- I am thankful for a lot less pain today than the last couple days. (I'm hopeful for a workout.)
- I am thankful for a little niece trying to walk even though she just started to crawl.
- I am thankful for a gorgeous first day of spring.
- I am thankful for all the wonderful women in my life.
- I am thankful for a doctors appointment.
- I am thankful for smores. I am not eating them, but I have a plan in the future. Smores are so good. I think I'll make easter smores out of peeps for my nephews.
- I am thankful for talks with my best friend
- I am thankful for debate tournaments always having one inspiring moment. (A girl gave a speech about caring, self esteem and being better. Her teammates came to watch and left when she finished. I glimpsed her at least two month old self harm scars when she adjusted a sleeve. Lovely moment)
- I am thankful for kids allowing me the privilege of helping tthem clean and playing along with my jokes. They make a choice to trust me at work, and I am thankful every time they do.
Yesterday, I said I was thankful for my therapist. Honestly I am not sure that I am thankful. EMDR therapy is the right kind for me, it is working in an expansion of what I believe. Yet I don't want to deal with the past memories that we are going to be looking at. They suck. I am unsure if it is me holding back or maybe she really sucks. I am so triggered being back in Spokane and in this house. It feels like I am walking through memories sometimes. Today I keep thinking about a bunch of dead kids. They used to be my friends or clients I worked with, but at some point as I kept getting older and they didn't, those friends and clients became kids. Worse than that, they became dead kids just chilling in my mind. I say pile of dead kids because it is rare that only one comes up in my mind at a time. If one starts coming into my memory (even a positive memory) another one comes, Until I end up with all of these dead k...
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