The first step in a majority of the therapy I provide for clients is recognizing and expressing emotions. Especially with children, this is the most important thing that I do. If someone were to leave my therapy sessions, the thing I would want them to take away is that their emotions are okay.
Sometimes, knowing that your emotions are valid is a struggle, it's something to be constantly mindful of. Did you stop feeling angry because there is nothing to be angry about or because someone told you "angry doesn't do anything"? Did you stop being afraid or anxious because "worrying gets you no where" or was it because there is no longer anything to fear? It's easy to be dismissive of emotions. "I'm being silly." "Big people don't cry." It's even easier to listen to the people that dismiss your emotions for you. "Oh my god, why are you crying." "It's not that big of a deal" "Just let it go."
The thing I wish everyone would ask when they are feeling is "What is making me/you feel this way?"
A book I received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review that talks about this is Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett.
Marc Brackett does a stunning job explaining many things in Permission to feel. This is almost a memoir of the RULER emotional intelligence program out of Yale. What it also contains is an explanation of the steps that they recommend for emotional intelligence. It is an enjoyable read, filled with facts and stories. Marc Brackett lets you in on his world, the RULER experience, and the world of the future where children everywhere learn about emotional intelligence. I recommend this book for educators, parents, administrators and anyone else who wants an emotionally intelligent future.
Sometimes, knowing that your emotions are valid is a struggle, it's something to be constantly mindful of. Did you stop feeling angry because there is nothing to be angry about or because someone told you "angry doesn't do anything"? Did you stop being afraid or anxious because "worrying gets you no where" or was it because there is no longer anything to fear? It's easy to be dismissive of emotions. "I'm being silly." "Big people don't cry." It's even easier to listen to the people that dismiss your emotions for you. "Oh my god, why are you crying." "It's not that big of a deal" "Just let it go."
The thing I wish everyone would ask when they are feeling is "What is making me/you feel this way?"
A book I received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review that talks about this is Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett.
Marc Brackett does a stunning job explaining many things in Permission to feel. This is almost a memoir of the RULER emotional intelligence program out of Yale. What it also contains is an explanation of the steps that they recommend for emotional intelligence. It is an enjoyable read, filled with facts and stories. Marc Brackett lets you in on his world, the RULER experience, and the world of the future where children everywhere learn about emotional intelligence. I recommend this book for educators, parents, administrators and anyone else who wants an emotionally intelligent future.
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