Nerd @ 190

Sometimes I really struggle with diagnoses. Mostly, I am good at diagnosing clients because I'm good at listening to clients.  I am also extremely good at making sure that a person can answer a question that I need answered.  Sometimes, I can make sure that the person answered in a way that was most effective for paperwork.  This skill comes from... I have no idea.  I don't actually encourage this skill in many other people.  It's not effective in a majority of situations.  I also question it's validity for myself.   Essentially, I'm asking specific questions trying to get a specific type of answer so that an insurance can feel comfortable with what and why I am doing something. The problem lies with the premise that an insurance company needs to feel comfortable with what I'm doing to help a person.  Because I believe in community mental health in a capitalist culture, there is a lot of justifying that goes beyond "This person noticed a struggle, and I

I'm really struggling with the impact my pain has on my mood.  If I'm in pain, my triggers feel multiplied by whatever number my pain is. There can be one person yabbering a bunch of narcissistic nonsense, but it feels like nine people spewing nonsense at me.  If there are five administrative mistakes that lead to problems, then I feel like there are 25 blunders.  I am so frustrated and tired. It's moments like this that books like The Chronic Pain and Illness Workbook for Teens by  Rachel Zoffness can come in handy.  The Chronic Pain and Illness Workbook for Teens by Rachel Zoffness is straight forward, combines scientific reasoning with clear explanations.  I really appreciate the exercises. They are easy to follow along with and comfortable for teenagers.  I believe this book will be truly helpful for many people. I know it's helpful for me. 

I love the letter T right now.  With some capitalization and said with a bit of sass that is represented in my mind by a black member of the LGBT.  I just want to be out here serving up some T (like tea, but mostly truth) about some BIG T trauma (singular traumatic event such as a killing, natural disaster, car accident) created by huge stacks of small t trauma (events that when seen as a singular event do not usually lead to detrimental impacts such as emotional abuse, harassment, grief, non life threatening injuries, that when in groups and cause MORE detrimental effects than the big T). There is a real life thing that I keep tweeting about, and will probably continue to tweet about, in which we, 'Mer-i-caNs, seem to keep expecting CHILDREN to solve the problems created by their grandparents (or some of their parents).  The CHILDREN are seeing these problems (mass shootings, youth suicide, climate change)  as life threatening (because they are) thus the children try to solve

I happen to believe that fandom can make miracles happen.  It can create real life magic, like making a sad person happy or inspiring someone to make the change they want to see in the world. I think that a character can show you how to cope with your trauma, addiction and pain. I think that an actor can inspire you to ask for help. A piece of music can release anger, bring peace and relax.  I think shows, music, books can teach, and create and inspire change. My first fandom was Stephen King.  My dad told me to read a book that had a letter to a constant reader at the start of it.  I kept reading every Stephen King book I could get my hands on.  He inspires me to write, draw and enjoy my life when I'm struggling. I watch almost every movie made from Stephen King books. Trust me, I know how bad those can be. Shawshank Redeption is one of the best movies from a Stephen King book ever made. However, this book is not one of the best movie companions. The Shawshank Redemption

Lately, between conversations with my best friend and working on some difficult traumas of my own, I've been discussing religiosity.  In these conversations, religious experiences are viewed in a negative light.  Despite the many negative experiences, I continue to discuss grace, something related directly to religious experiences.  Sometimes, I say "be kind to yourself" or ask that people "give some patience."  Though what I truly mean is the granting of unmerited favor, gift of goodness and  forgiveness without having to earn it. I mean, grace.  I keep thinking back to the church hopping days of my childhood, when I would go to different churches with my friends. Despite feeling distinctly other, I loved churches. I love listening to a good sermon. I love experiencing ritual and spiritual practice. There is a peaceful quality to spiritual practice and ritual (meditation, prayer, the process of taking communion, etc.) that I know few other ways to experience.