Friday, September 12, 2014

#InvisibleIllnessAwarenessWeek #FitspoFriday

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Chronic Migraines, Asthma, Some undiagnosed thing, depression
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2005 (ofish-fish 2007), 1995, 2014?,
3. But I had symptoms since: 2000, ever, 2000
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: medications every day, avoiding foods I enjoy, dark days
5. Most people assume: That because I take preventative medicines I don't have any issues
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Checking in with my pain levels and breathing to see if I can do what I want to. Sometimes, convincing myself that what I enjoy is worth getting out of bed.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's Anatomy
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my cell phone
9. The hardest part about nights are: Nightmares I get from meds.
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 12 types, 19 actual pills
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: can't afford the ones I want
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible. It's difficult to get help, but I know I miss out on a lot of other difficulties.
13. Regarding working and career: I'm afraid I'll have to give them up.
14. People would be surprised to know: how many symptoms I'm struggling with on an average work day.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: keeping boundaries other people don't need to, and don't always understand.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: my job.
17. The commercials about my illness: are much faster than real time allows. "Take this pill, seconds later no pain, no depression."
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: eating tomatoes. Never canceling on people.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: tomatoes
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: nothing
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: work a double. One where i go outside, wear my hair in a pony tail the whole time, type up the notes, and go out to drinks- bloody mary's- with my coworkers.
22. My illness has taught me: to find acceptance and everyone's reality is different.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "you can too."
24. But I love it when people: Give me the support I ask for.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: wear it like armor
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: You're not doing something wrong when you take care of yourself.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: That I can be loved.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Bring me coffee, a hamburger and Watch my shows with me in the dark.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: it's fitspo to help others.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: hopeful.

Thankful Thursday 9/11/14

dafsfd I am thankful for my dad, and all the times he was there for me.
I am thankful for my work and that good I can do.
I am thankful for the breath of children.
I am thankful for our police and firefighters
I am thankful for the Marines and Navy
I am thankful that the feeling in my gut that shows up when I see 9/11 written down passing another year.
I am thankful for my family.
I am thankful for Pumpkin Spice flavoring.
I am thankful for all the letters I can sign after my name.
I am thankful for amazing coworkers I can depend on.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


For the most part the last week or two has been rather boring. There isn't a lot interesting going on at my work (Thank the monkeys.  We needed a some boring time.) My sister is visiting, but we don't sight see and such.  We hang.  It's the best.  I love that she and my boyfriend and pretty comfortable near each other already.  She's gonna be here a while.
I had a migraine for a week. I wish that was somehow interesting or abnormal. It still isn't.  I got a med change.  I want that to be interesting and abnormal too.  It still isn't.
I missed a bunch of work.  My coworkers noticed.  That matters to me.
However a few things are official that haven't been official very long:
I officially have an abnormal MRI and a normal EEG.  What does that mean?  No clue.  You could Google it.
I officially have an effective Essure procedure and can't have kids.
I officially have an MHP  (mental health professional) title.
I officially have a full time job (that I don't have to give up due to seizures). 

I officially got three apologies from a doctor that hadn't bothered to apologize about my symptoms previously.  Basically, I wish I wasn't ever around doctors EVER.  That's a bit irrational given the whole "undiagnosed neurological disorder" thing

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for my sister.
I am thankful for being able to say no.
I am thankful for the chris people in my life.
I am thankful for my boundaries
I am thankful for effective medications.
I am thankful for good causes and free tickets.
I am thankful for warm sweatshirts.
I am thankful for pumpkin spice latte.
I am thankful for fall.