Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Broken Dishes

I broke a coffee cup.  It was a stunning break.  I was quite sad to see it; it was a favorite cup.  The cup was giant but didn't let things get too cold,  bright and didn't burn my hands after being in the microwave.  The cup was also a gift from a friend I no longer see.  So, losing the cup was a sadness.
Yet, when I told my sister, she was proud of that one broken dish. (As am I, thus the phone call.)  I do tracking for my health everyday. I track my pain, my pills, my exercise.  Recently my tracking says I'm sick a lot.  It shows I'm not mediating or exercising like I want.  However,  the takings doesn't show that I hadn't broken a dish in months.  I prep food before migraine days and wash dishes often enough that I don't need to clean while sick. While living on my own before I broke dishes so regularly I didn't notice until an entire set was gone.
 I may miss my goals, but I notice when I break dishes now.  That's good enough for me today.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

I know I took off

I have no good excuses for not being here. I just couldn't quite complete this.  The last few months were difficult. I struggled with getting a job and in the process I struggled with understanding myself.
For the last several years, I was an Antioch Student and an Alere Wellbeing Quit Coach. Many of my besties still work there. I am finished with school.  I've always prided myself on getting things done.
The year 2013 was the least productive and successful year of my entire life. I didn't really lose the weight or make the changes I wanted to. Spending the last few months mostly with myself means that I had to pay attention to why things didn't work for me. So, now I'll let you know. I have no excuses. Reasons explain, but they do not excuse my failures
  1.  This blog wasn't a priority. Any time I had a "reason" it became true. Then, I didn't want to come back.
  2. I decided that my nutritionist wasn't right about what my weight loss goals should be.  At the end of the year, I realized I hit the goal my nutritionist wanted. That goal wasn't my intention because I wanted something "better."
  3. I didn't take note of when my bad days were coming. I continuously posted on facebook "why don't I put these on the calendar?"
  4. I didn't use my support or clearly explain myself to others.
  5. Rather than make changes, I ignored what I really wanted.
I'm hoping things will go a little differently this year, and I have the means to make that happen.

This week has been focused around doing well with my new job. I'm doing physical restraint trainings. This is great because not only will it help at work, but it's also a hard core workout. I'm so sore, but didn't hurt my knees.  I can take with me into the rest of the year is how to best take care of my knees while still being awesome.